TL;DR

Customers don’t always give honest feedback — not because they’re lying, but because of politeness, bias, and social pressure. If you rely on what people say rather than what they do, you risk making the wrong business decisions. Here’s how to uncover the truth.

The Polite Lie We All Tell

Ever had a terrible meal at a restaurant but told the waiter everything was ‘great’? You’re not alone — customers do this all the time, and it’s costing businesses real insights.

Most people don’t set out to lie, but when faced with giving feedback — especially in person — we soften the truth. We don’t want to seem rude. We don’t want to hurt feelings. Sometimes, we don’t even know exactly what we want, so we default to easy, socially acceptable answers.

Now, imagine relying on this kind of feedback to shape your business decisions.

Companies run surveys, interviews, and feedback sessions believing they’re collecting the truth. But often, they’re just hearing the version of the truth customers are comfortable sharing — and that’s a dangerous gap to build strategy on.

Why Customers Hold Back the Truth

Customers don’t always say what they mean — and it’s not just about politeness. There are deeper psychological and social reasons at play:

🔹 Politeness Bias — People avoid confrontation, especially in direct interactions. It’s easier to say “It was fine” than to express disappointment.

🔹 Expectation Bias — Customers shape their feedback based on what they think you want to hear. If they believe you're excited about an idea, they might be reluctant to criticize it.

🔹 Lack of Self-Awareness — Customers aren’t always aware of what truly influences their decisions. They might say price was the deciding factor when, in reality, it was convenience or branding.

🔹 Framing Effects — The way a question is asked impacts the answer. “Would you use this product?” often gets a yes, but “Would you pay £50 for this?” gets a very different response.

The result? Businesses collect feedback that looks useful on the surface — but is often filtered, incomplete, or misleading.

How to Get Honest Customer Feedback

If customers aren’t always telling the full truth, how can you uncover what they really think? The key is designing research methods that remove bias, reduce social pressure, and focus on what people do, not just what they say.

1. Observe Behaviour, Don’t Just Ask Questions

People often say one thing but do another. Instead of relying solely on surveys, watch how customers actually interact with your product or service:

✔️ Where do they hesitate?
✔️ What features do they ignore?
✔️ When do they abandon a process?

Usability testing, heatmaps, and session recordings reveal insights that customers wouldn’t think to mention in an interview.

2. Use Indirect Questioning

Direct questions often lead to filtered answers. Instead of asking:

❌ “Do you like this product?” → which invites politeness,

✅ Try: “How would you describe this product to a friend?” → which encourages honesty.

Similarly, instead of asking:

❌ “Would you pay for this?” → which often gets an automatic yes,

✅ Ask: “Have you paid for a similar product before?” → which gives a real indication of intent.

3. Make Feedback Anonymous

The more anonymous the setting, the more honest the responses. Customers won’t sugarcoat their thoughts when they’re not being directly observed. Anonymous surveys, open-text feedback forms, and user testing platforms where participants don’t know who’s running the research all help reduce bias.

4. Test in Real-World Contexts

Asking customers what they would do in a hypothetical scenario is unreliable — people are terrible at predicting their own behaviour. Instead:
✔️ Get people to use the product in real situations (prototype testing, pilot programs).
✔️ Track actual usage patterns instead of relying on reported preferences.
✔️ Analyse real customer support interactions to spot pain points people don’t proactively mention.

Final Thought

Customers don’t intentionally mislead you — but biases, politeness, and the limits of self-awareness all impact the feedback they give. The best research doesn’t just collect what people say — it uncovers what they actually think and do.

If your business is making decisions based on surface-level feedback, you might be optimising for the wrong things. The key is to dig deeper — because the truth is there, if you know where to look.

What Do You Think?

Have you ever run research or collected feedback that later turned out to be misleading? Or do you have a favourite technique for uncovering the truth?

Ready for More?

At Tectonic, we specialise in customer research that goes beyond the surface — helping businesses make decisions based on reality, not assumptions.

📩 Want to learn more? Let’s talk.